No Sweeter Sound

One of my favorite sounds ever is hearing Sam sing Christian hymns at church. He was musically trained as a little boy so he hits the notes just right; his voice is very deep yet has a softness that I can't explain... above all, there is an amazing passion when he sings. Amazing music to my ears, amazing love for our Creator... it brings tears to my eyes every now and then. Tonight once again, I thanked God for the man He put in my path.

Finally Feeling the Christmas Spirit!

As I adopt more responsibilities and write increasingly long to-do lists in life, it seems like every year it takes me a little longer to get into the Christmas spirit. Which makes me a little sad. This year though, I'm just happy that I'm finally feeling it. And it's amazing! :)

In light of so many holiday photo cards we have received from friends and family, I decided to experiment a little and come up with a couple of designs for cards of our own. Granted, we don't have too many peeps to send them to but it's just a fun Photoshop project and well... let's face it, I LOVE Photoshop. :)

So here they are! I think we'll end up printing the one with our photo on it because it seems more personal. Yes I know: they all look like generic store-ordered cards. I'm still proud of them, especially because that picture of us with Mr. Snowman is actually a merge of TWO photos! It was only the two of us out in the snow so we took pictures of each other. Ahhhh I love having the time to create :)

In case I don't post before then, MERRY CHRISTMAS! :D

Surprising Developments?

So after pounding my head over the decision to continue with grad school applications or not (as if whatever happens is up to ME, duh), Sam and I sat together one night and talked about every possible route we could take; we wrote a good ol' "pros and cons" list for each option and surprise! Once we were done the decision was staring at us, all full of lead and clear as crystal, from the piece of paper. We finally decided that grad school should not be in our minds for 2011, since we're not where we need to be financially speaking (there were other reasons behind the decision but if I started talking about them all, I'd end up writing the equivalent of a 20-page paper, single-spaced). It was hard to imagine where I'd want to be professionally in 5, 10 years, but after giving it some thought I realized that I wouldn't mind being a licensed architect once our kiddos are old enough to be in school. So ever since then, I've moved forward with GRE and portfolio prep; if I get accepted to start on the Fall of 2011, I'll defer for one year and continue working full-time until I do go back.

Took the dreaded GRE today... I got a better score than I thought! To be honest I didn't know if I'd even pass given the questions I saw on practice tests. But I did, and I think the score is good enough to be a serious candidate for the M.Arch program. Now I need to work on my portfolio; I've got a couple of months to make it as good as I can make it. And I have to say...

...I'll take working on portfolio over taking the GRE any day!!!

Whoop for no more GRE! :D

Slowly Pulling Toward a Better Life

Just working on my portfolio and grad school application papers is driving me crazy. I don't have time to clean the house, or take care of my yard, or have much fun with Sam. I don't care what people say, if I don't take care of my husband and my house I feel miserable. I know that some people thrive under pressure, but I'm not one of them. I love admiring architecture and working at an architecture firm, but I don't have a thirst for architectural design.

I have a thirst for being a dang good wife. And having children. And raising a good, God-loving family. I feel strongly passionate about this. Why does society look down on this? Because I don't want to earn more money I should be termed a lazy person? Taking care of our own kids and making time for LIVING, yeah that IS lazy. When was this notion established? We still have debt from undergrad, and here we are considering incurring more debt. And what will I get out of the degree? A raise in pay yes, but from what I hear not a great one. And extra hours at the office. Weekends. Stress. Abandonment of house-related work. And less time with my husband. *whispers* oh guess what: the divorce rate in the architecture field is super high. Let's go for it yea!! *sigh*. I want to have a job that does not become my life. I have better and more important things to do.

A few weeks ago, the priest during Mass was talking about how we (i.e. a lot of college students) are so eager to go to grad school and become more knowledgeable in a certain field, yet so few of us want to pursue a deeper knowledge of the Bible. This has stayed in me since then. I become terrified at the thought of having to face God and tell Him, "yeah I didn't have time for you or Your Word. I was too busy architecting".

As I write this I'm getting to realize that I've made up my mind about Architecture: it's not for me. Not yet, at least. Maybe in a few years. Family comes first, that's what Mimi and Papito taught me. Well, riiight after God. I'm setting the priorities straight. Sam and I have been talking about possibilities and what me not going to grad school could possibly mean; we've contemplated a number of situations including myself working part-time eventually. This sounds SO appealing. It'll sound like heaven when we have kids, I'm sure. I saw too many moms at the daycare miss their babies' "firsts" because they were working and their babies were with us. I refuse to let that happen.

So... no more GRE. No more portfolio. WEEEEEE! Who CARES what "profligate" means anyway?? (Not me.)

I'll let this simmer for a few nights, but I think I'm pretty much done thinking about this. In the meantime, enjoy this hysterical video a coworker shared with me (it's got some bad words but it's fuuunny if you can get past that):

http://www.xtranormal.com/watch/7429337/?ref=nf

And Now for Something Completely Different

I'm honestly AMAZED at what this pretty girl can accomplish with just makeup and a wig; at the end of the video she's virtually a carbon copy of Jared Leto. The music works so well with the transformation; it's just so well done:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/10/10/jared-leto-makeup-girl-video_n_757251.html

I think some people would be surprised to know the kinds of things that I like. This is one of those, I think; I'm not into the whole makeup thing, but if I'm in the right mood I'm all for a dark atmosphere, music, mood.

Enjoy!

Master Doodles

To say that thinking about grad school has been troubling is a heck of an understatement.

See what I mean?

The truth is, I worry about putting myself through it again. I worry about neglecting Sam and my responsibilities as a wife to work on projects. Lord knows, once I put my mind to something it HAS to come out right. More than anything, I worry that life will for two years become one mindless all-nighter after another, where nothing else happens in my life except for what gets or doesn't get done. I worry that I will neglect my relationship with God. What if I happen to die in the midst of all that? What would I be able to tell God I did with my life and with the gifts he blessed me with?

Tonight we prayed about this. We pray that God will leads us toward the path that He wants us to follow.. whether we take the path slowly or at a frenetic pace, only He knows. The ONE thing I feel truly, madly, deeply passionate about is starting a family with Sam, being a good wife to him. If God decides to bless us with this event, this would be the biggest trump card of all, as far as grad school goes. It would take me years to get the degree, but I probably wouldn't care because we'd be parents.

I just need to stop worrying.

Rest in Peace

I just found out in a weird sort of way that a girl I went to high school and graduated with in Venezuela is dead. To say that I'm shaken up is a heck of an understatement.

I didn't know her very well; she was part of the "cool crowd" and I wasn't. She was one of the pretty girls who could at times be nice and joke around with us, but most of the time it seemed like her bubble was just too little to let anyone who wasn't popular (or rich) in. Our graduating class was made of less then 65 people though; so everybody knew everybody, popular or not. We used to make fun of her last name (it was Salvisberg).

According to news reports from two years ago, she was attending a private university in Mexico, and during her free time she was a female escort for rich men. She was addicted to cocaine. She met with a few friends at a large get-together; then disappeared. Two months later, her body was found in a remote area in Mexico. She'd been tortured and strangled.

An old friend of hers wrote in this online forum and defended her, saying that those who knew her didn't believe any of the things reported on the news because she wasn't like that. I didn't know her well enough, but I feel such a big urge to pray for her. And for her family.

Rest in Peace, Maria Jose.