Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Slowly Pulling Toward a Better Life

Just working on my portfolio and grad school application papers is driving me crazy. I don't have time to clean the house, or take care of my yard, or have much fun with Sam. I don't care what people say, if I don't take care of my husband and my house I feel miserable. I know that some people thrive under pressure, but I'm not one of them. I love admiring architecture and working at an architecture firm, but I don't have a thirst for architectural design.

I have a thirst for being a dang good wife. And having children. And raising a good, God-loving family. I feel strongly passionate about this. Why does society look down on this? Because I don't want to earn more money I should be termed a lazy person? Taking care of our own kids and making time for LIVING, yeah that IS lazy. When was this notion established? We still have debt from undergrad, and here we are considering incurring more debt. And what will I get out of the degree? A raise in pay yes, but from what I hear not a great one. And extra hours at the office. Weekends. Stress. Abandonment of house-related work. And less time with my husband. *whispers* oh guess what: the divorce rate in the architecture field is super high. Let's go for it yea!! *sigh*. I want to have a job that does not become my life. I have better and more important things to do.

A few weeks ago, the priest during Mass was talking about how we (i.e. a lot of college students) are so eager to go to grad school and become more knowledgeable in a certain field, yet so few of us want to pursue a deeper knowledge of the Bible. This has stayed in me since then. I become terrified at the thought of having to face God and tell Him, "yeah I didn't have time for you or Your Word. I was too busy architecting".


As I write this I'm getting to realize that I've made up my mind about Architecture: it's not for me. Not yet, at least. Maybe in a few years. Family comes first, that's what Mimi and Papito taught me. Well, riiight after God. I'm setting the priorities straight. Sam and I have been talking about possibilities and what me not going to grad school could possibly mean; we've contemplated a number of situations including myself working part-time eventually. This sounds SO appealing. It'll sound like heaven when we have kids, I'm sure. I saw too many moms at the daycare miss their babies' "firsts" because they were working and their babies were with us. I refuse to let that happen.

So... no more GRE. No more portfolio. WEEEEEE! Who CARES what "profligate" means anyway?? (Not me.)

I'll let this simmer for a few nights, but I think I'm pretty much done thinking about this. In the meantime, enjoy this hysterical video a coworker shared with me (it's got some bad words but it's fuuunny if you can get past that):

2 comments:

  1. I can't help but say that I kept thinking of the movie "Click" when you were thinking of becoming an architect ... though you'd be an awesome one!!

    LOL - the video ... you will draw bathrooms and stairs for the first 10 years of your career, he he he ...

    That video reminded me of this one:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zNVscJ5AkK4

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  2. Hahaha! That video's hilarious (though judging from Tim's stories, it's pretty sad that a lot of that is true). I have to say, the "drawing bathroom details for years" comment is not too far off: I believe my boss Ray did just that for a few years, at a large firm.

    I'm trying to not make a rash decision. I'm inquiring a bit more about whether I need to really take 12 hours every semester, because I just don't think I could handle that. I really, really hate putting home second.. The movie "Click" is not exaggerated, as far as how much work he has. Licensed architects practically live in the office; when I think of the project coordinators at the office, all except one work extra hours and sacrifice weekends to get things done. And they're not even licensed yet!

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