Monday, February 28, 2011

How Dare I

I woke up this morning having a wonderful realization about my attitude lately. It relates to my deep desire to become a mom.

When I hear about someone who complains about how miserable their life is while not doing anything to change their reality, it frustrates me. Why would you have any right to complain if you're not making any valid efforts to get out of said situation?

So this morning I wake up thinking, "You know you've been needing to get things done". Things related to my possibly needing surgery to figure out why I have not had my period for so long. Yet every once in a while I tell Sam things like, "'..'cause you know, I probably can't have a baby.." and "nothing has changed... I'm probably barren.." What is Sam supposed to say to that?

How dare I not accept God's perfect plan and will. I'm not sure if I'll be able to have kids, but there is a way for us to find out and that's by having the exploratory surgery. Yet I have not done anything to keep the process moving forward. How dare I complain about my life. Somehow I feel that God has planned for us to be parents one way or another. Maybe we will need to adopt. And that would be PERFECT because it would be His divine plan.

Regardless of what happens.. everything that happens in our lives is according to His plan, and if I truly trusted in Him I would not complain. He tells us to leave all anxiety behind and trust in Him, above all.

This is my plan now.



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