Today was a very good day. I went to work at the daycare where I've been doing part-time work for 10 years or so. The Director asked me just a couple of weeks ago if it affected me to hear and see babies around me, and I'd explained that it depended on how I was doing that day, emotionally. Today was a good day.
As I came back from my lunch break, I realized that there were three babies crying in the infant room right behind the office where I was working. There was also one teacher there who was trying to feed a fourth baby, so I thought I'd go in to help. I sat on the floor and began talking to the chubby baby boy who couldn't quite crawl yet, while I tried to rock another boy about 3 months old. The lady who was there said that the itty bitty one was probably hungry and handed me a bottle; so I sat down with him, tried to feed him but realized that he really didn't care to eat. Since he kept crying on and off, I swaddled him with his blankie and began walking around the room while swinging him. Oh, I was in heaven. It felt good to realize that I haven't "lost my touch" with babies. When I used to work full time at the daycare, sometimes teachers would ask me to come into their rooms so I could help a baby feel better. I don't know why, but I have always been particularly good with babies, and they almost always love me from the second they see me. So this afternoon, God gave me a piece of heaven.
It's been quite difficult to accept that we may need to wait two years until we can become parents. Two years until I can hold a baby at home and make him or her our child. Today made me want to wear a t-shirt in public that says, "Looking to adopt a baby soon!". Which surprisingly enough, women have tried SUCCESSFULLY by locating a birthmother of their own.
*Sigh*. I'm very much hanging on to His Promise. Because there is no other way I will be able to wait that long without Him.
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