Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Help Me See Through Your Eyes

**wow, tonight I really needed to talk. Two postings in one night!**

This past Sunday I went to church by myself because Sam was having severe allergy problems. I sat all the way in the back, at a pew with one other girl who was sitting at the end. About 10 minutes into Mass, a messy-looking guy came in and sat between the other girl and me. The first thing I noticed was the body odor. This man must've not taken a shower in days; the odor was so strong that it truly made it challenging to concentrate on anything else. Next, I noticed his clothes: ragged t-shirt, torn up jeans, dirty sneakers. Messy, uncombed hair. If I may be brutally honest, I was repulsed. I couldn't understand why anyone would come to church like this. He also took big, disrespectful steps when he walked, looked around a lot and squirmed around as if he didn't care about anything. I couldn't pay attention at all, I was truly befuddled.

Next, I noticed how fervently he repeated every prayer. What I initially thought was disrespect toward Mass now seemed to be ADD, or at least actions/movements he didn't intend to do. When we prayed the Lord's prayer and held hands, he held my hand tightly and stared at the hands for a long time. The more I saw this man, the more I realized that he was like a lost little kid. He sang every Hymn fervently, he knelt and prayed. I felt so embarrassed at my uppity attitude. I judged this man, basing my judgment on his physical appearance and my initial perception of his behavior.

Toward the end of Mass the words, "Help me see others and everything around me through Your eyes" came to mind. I'm listening to Jon Foreman's "Spring" album: in one of his songs he sings, "Baptize my Mind! Baptize my Eyes!"

How flawed I am! Through Your eyes God, help me see everything through Your eyes!


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